chompers

anesthesiologist: Sir did you get your dentures back? chompers: Well, I've got somebody's dentures in. They fit pretty good, just a little off. I guess I can keep 'em. anesthesiologist: really?

Apple what?

When asked what teh patient wants to drink: "do you have apple cider?"

Ladies Man

Nurse: We are just going to put your gown back on.
Patient: Yeah, you better or the ladies will be all over me.

13

After patient woke up from sedation:
Patient: I didn't tell you guys that I was a personal injury lawyer.
Me: I wouldn't have done anything different.
Patient: That a girl.

12-Debbie

A patient talking to an anesthesiologist prior to surgery: Doc: So where are you from? Patient: I'm from up north. I'm not used to all this traffic here. My name ain't Debbie and I don't do Dallas.

#11

So, this isn't a first hand experience but I thought it was too funny not to add. A OR nurse was telling me the story of his own cardioversion. He said he doesn't remember a thing but was told that after he was shocked he yelled, "KICK ASS!"

10

In a thick Spanish accent:
I'm alive?
yes.
I'm not dead?
no.
I'm not in heaven?
no, not today.