Apple what?

When asked what teh patient wants to drink: "do you have apple cider?"

Ladies Man

Nurse: We are just going to put your gown back on.
Patient: Yeah, you better or the ladies will be all over me.

13

After patient woke up from sedation:
Patient: I didn't tell you guys that I was a personal injury lawyer.
Me: I wouldn't have done anything different.
Patient: That a girl.